Number 10: Write 5 Letters

 This one I liked a lot. After all, I'm a writer. It was suggested to me at Cyndi Finkle's Birthday Breakfast, by her sweet friend Kristin, who I've known peripherally through the years and have always enjoyed seeing and connecting with. The conversation was about doing something non-electronic, like going back to the basics, and writing letters seemed like a good place to go.

I've written many letters in my life and I've saved every letter and post card I've ever received. They live in a filing system in my closet and to get ready for this task, I took a peek to get inspired and to see if there were any old pen pals that I should reconnect with. My most frequent letter writers have their own files, others are filed under "boyfriends" or "family" or "summer camp" etc. In the "boyfriends" file, I have love letters from my first boyfriend from summer camp, Joachim Rosenberg, or Joe Joe Rose as he was called the summer we all decided to have American names. Mine was Mac something. 

Twenty-three postcards from Gothenburg

Our romance started in 1978 and we were on and off for about 10 years. He lived in Gothenburg so it was long distance. He once sent me 23 post cards, each with just one word. I had to put them in order to read the message. He was 13 at the time and my parents thought the gesture was flashy but I thought it inventive and romantic. So my first letter goes to China, where Joachim lives with his wife and four kids, working for Volvo. I'm sure he'll be surprised. 

    

Grandma Celina and a few of her letters

     Next, a letter to Helsingborg, Sweden and to my grandmother Celina, who has written me many sweet cards and letters in her perfectly neat handwriting, which I inherited. She is the coolest little grandmother anyone could ever ask for and she doesn't have a computer so emailing isn't an option as far as staying in touch. She lives in Helsingborg, the small town in the south of Sweden where I was born and spent the first few years of my life, before moving to Stockholm. She's about 4 feet 10 inches of stubbornness and has a sense of style that is unique and truly her own, as you can see above. 

Celina was born in Poland in 1928 and spent time in concentration camp where she lost her parents and her brother. She was rescued by the English and ended up in Sweden, where she met Norbert Cahn. She was only 42 when I was born so she really was quite cool to have as a grandmother, and my brother Ulrik and I spent a lot of time at her house when we were growing up. Although it was grandpa Norbert that rode bikes and played ping-pong with us, grandma Celina made Swedish pancakes, meatballs and bought special chocolate in Denmark for us to put on our toast.  

    

Rich and his Sheldon Avenue stationary

Letter number three goes to Richard Zamet, whose letters to me can be found in the "London" file, where he still lives. He played the guitar and sang U2's "Running to Stand Still" when I was about 16 or 17 and my heart stopped. He is still very, very close to it. His Mum still lives on Sheldon Avenue which was printed on the stationary from his letters all those years ago, and last time I was in London, we all stayed there; me, Rich and his sweet boy Sebastian. It was such an incredible TRIP down memory lane being back at the house where we all used to congregate as teenagers. I'm seeing him in London this summer but for now, a letter! 

 Judy and I, too busy talking to pose for the camera

Number four goes to Japan or Bangkok, Judy and her daughter Asia are all over the place so I need to figure out where they are before I mail her letter. Judy is a heart friend. She's in mine and I'm in hers. We're very connected and our friendship went through a lot of phases before it settled. Judy is strong, insightful, beautiful, an incredible mother to Asia, and unfortunately, her strength was tested about six months away when the love of her life, her husband Jerome, passed away. She has handled it with such grace...I can't put into words how much I admire her ability to transcend, transform and create her life newly. I recently got the chance to see her and Asia when they visited LA and it was a sweet reunion. I'm actually sending two letters; one to Judy and one to my little friend Asia. 

    

 Pia and her stack of letters to me

   The final letter goes to my bästis, (yes, that's Swedish for best friend) and the only Swedish person I say "I love you" to regularly. You see, when you say it in Swedish, it's uncomfortable and weird, not just because people are suppressed, but because the words are kind of awkward to say. Pia and I waitressed together in the late eighties but would spend more time having drinks with the male guests then we would actually work. Our boss Martin was cool with it though, because he sold more alcohol that way. Living so far away from her is HARD, but when I go home it's like no time has passed and we always pick up right where we left off. Pia has a hot, young husband and two beautiful daughters and will probably start crying when she gets her letter. 

 What did I write? They all started off with a bit of a "weather report" I suppose...you know, "here's what I'm doing...what are you doing?" but once I got into it, I was just writing and it was good, deep, sweet and fun and I didn't know where I was going until I got to what felt like the end. The greatest thing was I couldn't erase anything...so it all came out however it came out. I edit and re-edit the tiniest of emails so not being able to tweak or fix was uncomfortable at first but then quite liberating. 

As exciting as it is to imagine my five letters arriving at their destinations; being delivered by post men all over the world, spreading joy to the recipients, I got so much joy from this task (aside from the hand cramps.) Expressing myself on beautiful stationary, with calligraphy pens, using colorful stamps and even sealing my letters with my "C" wax seal, made ME feel love and happiness. 

This quote by Janet Malcolm sums it up perfectly. "A correspondence is a kind of love affair....It is with our own epistolary persona that we fall in love, rather than with that of our pen pal."

Comments

[dory]

Dear Dory,

Thanks for the idea about the McDonalds. It was awesome!

Lots of love,
Marika

[Marika Cahn]

Thanks, lillebror, I'm having the BEST time doing it :)

Kram Storasyster

[Maximillian Lundin]

This thing you are doing, with Forty by Forty, is THE most creative and personifying thing I have ever heard of. It is like you are living a diary backwards.
You are the fräsigaste(coolest) sister ever.

Big hug and kiss from Max