This was one of many things my friend Cliff Olin put on the list, so it was only fair that we did it together. Cliff is a founding member of Burgers & Sisters which is the highlight of my week; truffle burgers on Friday nights with Cliff, John Kazlauskas, Brian Studler and myself at Umami on Hollywood. John's boyfriend Michael Hundgen comes too...and he's the one who named our group so cleverly (after the show we all met on.)
A regular day at B&S: Cliff is distracted and I'm over it
But back to Cliff who is savant smart, impatient and hilariously dramatic. He is a feast of character and creativity and at the same time can act like a 12-year-old, which makes him a great hang. I interviewed him for the Brothers and Sisters blog and it turned out to be pretty funny. One of the things he added to my list was Make a Baby which originally was "Make a Baby and Don't Abort it." I opted to keep the second part out since that would insinuate that I had made babies before and aborted them. Not that there's anything wrong with abortion. Well, you get the point.
A Danish friend, Mikkel, recommended Lake Perris and so that's where we headed. Cliff raised some issues about having a man on his back (of course he would) but I promised him that with all the protective clothing, he would be safe.
In preparation, we had both put our affairs in order by emailing our wills to the rest of our Burgers & Sisters group. Cliff willed his heart (to me,) his mind (Calista,) his parking space at ABC (N/A,) and his Dad (Todd.) I willed my Golden Girls DVD Collection (Kazlauskas,) hair products (Cinquemani,) booze (Studler,) and my spanky pants (Todd). Neither of us had slept very well the night before, so we were giggly and sleepy but excited.
Emergency Contacts
I don't know which was funnier; that Cliff listed Ron Rifkin as his emergency contact, phone number and all, or that when I said I wanted to list Sally Field, Cliff did a perfect impersonation of her getting the notification call; "WHO died? I'm sorry but I have no idea who that is..."
Harnessed and ready!
Then we met our instructors. I had Kenneth, a tall and very cute Danish guy who reminded me of Roy Jenkins, my favorite Groundlings teacher, who I have always had a crush on. The most important thing - other than how delightful he was - was that I felt safe and taken care of. Besides, it's never a bad idea to be strapped to a strapping young Dane, and not just because we could speak to each other without anyone else understanding. We put on overalls and harnesses and got on the plane which was old and rickety and made me feel like I was in the RAF during World War II.
My eyes are closed...I'm already dreaming of Kenneth
I don't know how to express or explain what came next...because you really have to experience it. Kenneth and I threw ourselves out of the plane and for a few seconds I was lost and confused and scared and dislocated. Then I took a deep breath and relaxed and I just naturally started laughing. I couldn't stop. It was so fun and funny...the feeling, the experience. He yelled "PULL" and I didn't, so he did and that was a good thing. Until the parachute opened, it was crazy and chaotic and windy and loud and fantastic. Then once it opened, there was a calm and a stillness and an incredible view. Peace and quiet in my mind. And again, being strapped to Kenneth wasn't awful either. As we landed, I saw Cliff on the ground going nuts with excitement. We both couldn't believe we actually did it!
We got to the car and started to drive back to LA and I fell asleep almost right away. All my energy was zapped and I was both mentally and physically exhausted. I have no idea how Cliff stayed awake behind the wheel...
When I woke up we were almost at our next stop, Philippe, in downtown LA. We walked in, starved and stupid. I say stupid because our brains clearly weren't operating at full capacity. Probably not even half. I couldn't say macaroni salad no matter how hard I tried so I ordered coleslaw. Three French Double Dip sandwiches, coleslaw, four lemonades and a banana cream pie later we were starting to get some energy back. Just enough to get back to Cliff's where we both collapsed on the couch for a nap, not quite believing we had just thrown caution to the wind and ourselves out of a plane at 12,000 feet.
What an AWESOME day....mange tak til Mikkel og Kenneth...but most of all, THANK YOU, Cliff "Cooch" Olin!
YOU ARE TRULY THE MOST ENERGETIC, ADVENTURIOUS LADY I KNOW....UNBELIEVABLE EXPERIENCE. I AM SO GLAD TO FEEL YOUR DAY AND NOW I WON'T BE ANXIOUS TO FOLLOW IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS...LOVE AND KISSES, DARLING MARIKA
Posted by: DIANE MERRICK | 06/21/2010 at 09:54 AM