Forty By Forty

Number 20: Peru 1 - Machu Pichu

 

 I didn't think I'd actually get to this one...but with a week off and a strong desire for an adventure, I made the arrangements. This was one of the many things Cliff Olin, of Number 13: Skydive fame, put on the list, along with its "sister task," Number 21: Peru 2 - Ayuhasca Ceremony. After I told him I was going, I got some typical Cliff emails... "I'm so mad at you/filled with admiration for you," said one. Another simply, "you stole my dream."

   First of all, the trip would not have been possible without my friend and American mother Diane Merrick, who I've known for 18 years and worked for off and on for just as long. Diane has a clothing store on Beverly at Martel, and not only have I learned everything I know about life in LA from her, she is the reason why I'm such a great and resourceful human being in general. My brain is still full of information she's given me over the years; the best places to shop, eat, spa, etc. And most of all, how to be charming, gracious and wrap a gift beautifully. She's been kind and generous with me always... especially the time she "fired" Faye Dunaway as a customer because Faye made my cry. 

  I've worked with Diane for the summer, taking a much needed break from my computer, and we've had more fun than ever. Reminiscing about the good old days; laughing, dancing to Pandora's 70's hits and lunch from El Coyote. So, she not only funded the trip, but also bought me a brand new duffel bag with wheels, and of course, the camera I brought was an AFI graduation gift from her. When it turned out that the week I was planning on going to Peru was the week she was scheduled to be out as well, she told me to go anyway, and tucked a stack of dollar bills for tips into my purse.

  Before taking off, I poked around a map of South America to learn some new capitals and found Bolivia (Sucre & La Paz,) Ecuador (Quito,) Brazil (Brasilia,) and Chile (Santiago.) I also did my usual "new country research" and found out that Peru was home to one of the oldest civilizations in the world, the Norte Chico Civilization, as well as the Inca Empire. Peru achieved independence from the Spanish Empire in 1821 and today it's a democratic republic with a population of about 29 million people. It has a very varied geography with the plains of the Pacific Coast, tropical forests and the Andes mountains.

  Peru has a poverty level of 34% and its main economic activities are agriculture, fishing, mining and manufacturing of textiles among other things. The main language is Spanish although many Peruvians speak Quechua or other native languages. 

 
   I arrived in Cusco, checked in to my hotel and after a quick nap, I walked over to the beautiful town square with an old church, shops and restaurants. I quickly decided two things as I sat down to get something to eat overlooking the square: 1. that I would travel as a Swede as soon as I figured out how to say Sweden in Spanish, and 2. that I would stop using the F-word because when you are in a beautiful place like Cusco, there's nothing more unattractive than hearing American tourists use the F-word.

   Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm completely obsessed with trains as a means of travel. Love them. When I was younger and it was time for Ulrik and I to visit our Dad and grandparents in Helsingborg (where we were born,) we would take the train there from Stockholm. We got to spend 6 or 7 hours sans parents, which meant buying candy in the restaurant car, running on the platform at the stations, and standing where the cars are connected as the train moved, which was loud, scary and awesome. Needless to say, when one of the options to get to Machu Pichu from Cusco was by train, I jumped at the chance.

    I got on at the train station in Cusco, and sat next to Doug Ramsey of Santa Rosa, who provided entertainment beyond my wildest dreams for the next few hours. He also enabled me to finally say I was Swedish. No more Estados Unidos para mi. Suecia all the way! We spent four hours riding the through some of the most beautiful terrain I've ever seen and were served food for little people - a mini trout sandwich and a mini quiche - by some very well dressed and professional conductors. 

   The music streaming from the speakers was...yes, you guessed it...a variety of popular songs played instrumentally by Peruvian pan flutes. And if you think they can't turn ANY SONG into a Peruvian pan flute song, you are wrong. The pan pipers are like the Kenny G. of Peru, if the song exists, they just "pan it up" as Doug exclaimed. The entire Beatles catalogue, obviously "El Condor Pasa," and last but not least, "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)" by ABBA. When I reassured Doug that my iPod would be safe in the outer pocket of my back pack simply because I would hear the music stop if it got stolen, he told me all they'd have to do is stick my headset into a pan pipe and I'd never notice the difference...

   We soon discovered that the Perurail announcements have been directly translated from Spanish with not much concern for whether the final result makes sense or not, and this became another source of entertainment. They let us know that they would be "using the ingenous system of zig-zagging up the mountain," to get us to Aguas Calientes - where Machu Pichu is located. They also pleaded with us, "for the safety of the children, please refrain from throwing things out the window." And finally, as the train approached the station, there was the not so modest, "for us it was very gratisfying to be part of this unforgettable experience."

  Doug stayed in town to head up early the following morning, so I took off to hike up to Machu Pichu with my iPod. I had been told it would be about an hour and a half from Aguas Calientes to the top and that sounded ok. I started happy and cheerful - how hard could it be? Answer: HARD. It seemed I had picked the hottest time of the day to hike up. And everytime I passed someone it was another "45 minutes" to the top.

The first person I ran into on the trail was Jesus

   Thank god I walked alone because I would have complained to whomever I walked with. I could bring your attention to the fact that for someone with short legs, the stone steps are way higher and more of a challenge. And that there were times the steps were so high I had to sit on them, then slide my legs up before swinging the rest of my body around to get up. But I won't.

   The music helped. Paul Simon´s "Rhythm of the Saints" seemed appropriate and got me going. I know...it has a Brazilian flavor which is different from Peruvian music, but it got me moving more than pan flutes would have, and that was all that mattered. Then the older stuff. "Kodachrome," "50 Ways to Leave your Lover" although when I was done with it, there were 53. I added "Go to Peru, Lou," "Zip up your pack, Jack," and "Hike up that trail, Gail," and felt quite pleased with myself. 

  I had almost run out of water when I met a Jewish couple on their way down. They refilled my water bottle with theirs. Sweet. They said it was just about 45 minutes to the top. No surprise there. Realized I'd lost my sweater. Great sweater, but at that point I wouldn´t even have gone back for a small child. So hot. Did I mention the steps are really high if you have short legs?

Just a few hundred more steps...

   I heard Radha's voice saying what she usually says when I get impatient. "It might not happen today. It might not happen tomorrow. But it will happen." I realized that yes, eventually I must get there. Machu Pichu is at the top. So all I have to do is walk. Needed something with a bit more bite in the iPod to get me there, so I switched to early (angry) Bowie and early (angry) U2 and stomped on.  

   And there it was. Finally. Of course I was so hot, sweaty, dehydrated and tired that rather than climb around and discover it all, I found a big rock far away from the hoards of tourists and sprawled out in the sun like a lizard. Sun and wind on my face. Just sat there and looked at the greatness. Took photos but mostly just experienced it. Connected to it. Very powerful energy up there. 

   A quick nap. Some meditation. And finally, a very American voice yelling, "can I take your picture?" from somewhere above. I opened my eyes and looked up. Bandana, tattoos, Harley Davidson shirt. It was Kevin Johnson from Oregon. Just built a Nazarene church in Cusco with his pastor and part of his congregation. Don't say you don't meet interesting people while traveling. 

The solar clock 

   After having recovered some energy, I climbed around a bit and saw the temples, houses and other structures which were built around 1400. It's really quite fascinating that Machu Pichu was never found by the Spanish when they conquered the Incas and so it was never plundered. What's more fascinating is that Machu Pichu was known to locals for many years, but it wasn't until Hiram Bingham, an American historian, was lead up there by a local kid, that it was discovered by him and eventually, the rest of the world. And at that time, some Quechuas were living there...in the original Inca structures. Pretty cool.

   As the sun started to set, I decided it was time to head back to Aguas Calientes for the train ride back to Cusco, but not before stopping at the tourist office to get my passport stamped with the special Machu Pichu stamp. Since I had already proved to myself and everyone I met on the way that I could hike up, I opted for the bus on the way down. 

   An unexpected adventure and a favorite among the tasks I have completed so far, I will remember my day at Machu Pichu for the rest of my life. I'm happy and proud that I did it, and that I did it on my own. A big thank you to Cliff for inspiring me to go, to Perurail and Doug for making the journey there so much fun, to my fellow hikers, whose cheering-on helped me reach the top, and to Kevin and everyone I met once I got up there. GRACIAS!

Number 19: Drive to Pea Soup Andersen’s for Pea soup and Apple pie

   "We want to take you to Pea Soup Andersen's," said the email I got from my very good friend John Kazlauskas, who recently joined me for Number 15: Run a 5K. I was surprised at first but when I thought about it, it made perfect sense. John and his boyfriend Michael Hundgen (The Hundge on "Words with Friends" for those of you who'd like to beat someone easily) share a passion for Disneyland, bizarre treasure hunts, and are friends with Buzz and Woody. Did I mention the weekend getaway to Pismo Beach? So of course, they wanted to go to Pea Soup Andersen's.

        

  Don't get me wrong, there is nothing uncool about these boys. They are handsome, fit, well brought up, delightful and funny, "we can't wait to put your balls in our mouths," said the email accepting my invitation for them to come over and have Swedish meatballs. 

 John at Umami for Burgers & Sisters

   John was my boss at Brothers & Sisters last year. I was an intern and he was one of the writers' assistants which meant that if he said "jump," I said, "do I have to?" in my whiniest voice. Seriously though, he always appreciated my kitchen clean-ups, coffee runs, grocery orders, but most of all, my baked goods and witty banter. It was a great learning experience being there, surpassed only by the incredible friends I made. Other than the Burgers & Sisters crew (John, Cliff, Todd & Studler) which I see at Umami on Fridays, I still carry a torch for Cinquemani, Magnificent Morris, Tony award nominee Geoffrey Nauffts, "Half-caf Dopio Macchiatto Thick Foamed" DMG, and last but not least, always supportive Molly and the writing team of Halsey/Donnelly. 

   Having received the text "whazzzzzup?" from John at midnight the night before our little trip, I knew we would get a late start. John is not a "whazzzzzup" kind of guy. Unless he is drunk. And the night before was Hundgen's birthday celebration so it was certainly a legitimate reason to push things a bit. Hundgen's best gift by the way, at least in my opinion, was "the shake weight," the exercise tool that makes you look like you are jerking someone off. 

   We piled into the car and took off for our culinary adventure. We drove through the Los Padres National Forest, which was quite beautiful. Hundgen entertained us (put us to sleep) by reading the history of Pea Soup Andersen's which he had found online. It was long. Too long, so I won't bore you with it here. The abbreviated version is that in 1924, a Dane bought some land in California and started a restaurant with his wife that became the favorite pit-stop of many many celebrities in the roaring twenties and subsequent decades. The biggest treat for regular Joe Schmo patrons would be whenever actor Victor Borge stopped by because Mr. Andersen and he would delight everyone by speaking Danish to each other. Of course, anyone who knows Danish, knows that there is nothing delightful about the language, it's very harsh, gutteral and throaty. But not to the Joe Schmoes of the roaring twenties apparently. Also, Mrs. Andersen is responsible for the soup recipe for which they use several tons of peas every month.

   After "The History Channel & Michael Hundgen presents: Pea Soup Andersen's," we kept busy catching up and listening to Disney radio on Pandora. "You've got a Friend in Me," "Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo," "Favorite Things," "Circle of Life" and more. The hits just kept on coming and John bopped his head and sang in his finest Broadway voice, while Hundgen and I sang along in a more dignified manner. 

   

    Once there, we pulled our cameras out and hammed it up.... 

  We went inside and signed their guest book before heading into the gift shop. To my delight, Harry Potter of Hogwarts had signed in a few lines before us but there was no sight of him unfortunately.

   

I guess this was for me...

   We browsed in the gift shop for a bit, where I picked up a pair of porcelain kitten salt and pepper shakers. The kittens were kissing each other, attached by a magnet on their noses, and I of course dropped one of them on the floor. John and Hundgen quickly walked away from me and the sales girls frowned. I yelled out that nothing had broken several times, but one of the girls still came over to check the kittens. 

 The fancy accoutrements...

   We were seated and all ordered the Traveler's Special, which was "bottom less" pea soup bowls, all the cheesy bread you could eat and a beverage of your choice. The boys ordered the accoutrements as well; shredded cheese, ham bits, bacon bits, chives and croutons.

    

The surprise at the bottom of the bowl; Hap-pea and Pea-wee splitting peas 

   I won't lie. The soup was really delicious and sparked the two best lines of the day, both from John. The first came as we were all quietly slurping the the brown-greenish soup. John looked up and said, "one time I had this really bad sinus infection..." to which we all busted out laughing. The second came when Hundgen finished his soup and saw the Pea Soup Andersen mascots at the bottom; "the best part is the surprise at the bottom of the bowl," exclaimed John. We ate and ate and ate...our bowls were refilled and we ate some more. 

      

   Then, dessert time. We ordered the apple pie and it was crazy delicious. I took the opportunity to ask everything I ever wanted to know about Michael Hundgen, like his gay history, which was fascinating and will not be repeated here. I will share that the worst nickname he's ever had is "Hundgina" and the most unusual is "Ovens," coined by none other than our friend Cliff. 

  We used what I referred to as the "Swedish bathrooms" and headed out for our next stop: Solvang! I've never been but was immediately mesmerized by all the Scandinavian-ness. Smörgåsbord signs, Swedish, Danish and Norweigan flags, bakeries, clog stores and finally...the Hans Christian Andersen museum, located at the top floor of a coffee shop! I loved it and felt at home, probably because I was raised in the south of Sweden, really close to Denmark, and took the ferry over so much while growing up. Or perhaps because we used to own Denmark. We, the Swedes. 

       
 
  After about twenty minutes in Solvang, I wasn't so mesmerized anymore. It started to feel too Danish, in fact, way more Danish then Denmark itself. Like someone forgot to add the water. So we got back in the car and headed to our final stop: The Camarillo Outlets. "Bear Necessities" came on the Disney radio and I finally got my moment to shine since I could belt it out in Swedish.

   After some of us drove and some of us napped, we arrived at the outlets a half-hour before closing time and quickly prioritized, split up and headed to our respective destinations; Saks & Disney for Hundgen, New Balance & J Crew for John, and Barney's for me. I was surprised two gay men let me go into Barney's alone since that place is death trap for girls who like to shop. Two pairs of pretty shoes later, we all converged on the Polo Ralph Lauren store before piling back into the car and heading home, exhausted but happy. What a fun-filled day!

   Thanks to Ron (of Number 1: Mac & Macca fame) for suggesting this for the Forty by Forty project, the soup was definitely worth it. 

 
    Aside from the obvious treats - the pea soup & apple pie, the visit to the "motherland" village, and the shopping spree - the biggest treat was spending the day with my sweet and delightful friends John and Hundgen...I can't thank you guys enough for our spectacular day together! 

Number 18: Apply to the LAPD

   Ever since I saw Police Academy I've been interested in being a cop. Going through all those tests and challenges just seems like so much fun. I'm highly competitive so any opportunity to win something or get into something, I'm interested in. So I headed down to an orientation to join the LAPD a few weeks ago. There were mostly young Hispanic men and myself. My intention was just to apply...but when the regular and reserve police officers talked about being a police officer, I got really inspired and started to see it as part of my civic duty, as a new American. Another way to participate in society. 

        

                               Reserve officer accessories

   I would have to be an LAPD reserve officer since I am over 35. A reserve officer goes through the same application process and the same training as a regular LAPD officer but only works two shifts a month. They still get a badge, a uniform and a Glock 22 gun. Imagine that!

   Step One: Preliminary Background Application and Job Preview Questionnaire The first thing I had to do was an online test and the bulk of it was questions about drugs and criminal activity. The drug questions were very specific. It listed a bunch of drugs (marijuana, hash, hash oil, steroids, PCP, cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, mushrooms, barbiturates, hallucinogens, vicodin etc.)  and then you had to say whether or not you had tried that drug. If you answered yes, you had to say how many times and how long ago. Some of these questions come back later in your polygraph test so you really have to be honest. I was, and at the end of the test I was nervous as to whether or not I'd be permitted to continue. Another screen came up and I read; "you may proceed to the next step of the application process" and I relaxed. 

   Step Two: Personal Qualifications Essay The essay questions were really great and we had ninety minutes to finish them. There were a few more girls at this "event" which I thought was kind of cool. I was still clearly the oldest. We were to write about:  1) a time that we had made a bad decision and how that had impacted us; 2) a time when we had to lead a group of some sort, and; 3) a time that we helped someone in need. It took some thinking but I came up with some good stories from my past and was ready to write. Unfortunately I had started my training for the Boxing Match that morning and as a result, my hands started shaking and cramping when I started writing so it was a painful experience. Still, I finished with about 40 minutes to spare and got a letter that I had passed and scored an 85 about a week later.    

   With the letter came a huge packet with all kinds of information about what was next. First of all, there was a whole fitness section with a booklet where I was to record my physical activities. So every day I've been listing the type of exercise I've been doing, trying to increase my running in order to get up to what they require. I even shared it with my boxing trainer Mysti and she started to incorporate some of the things they listed into my training sessions with her. 

   I started to fill out the 26 page document they sent, listing every apartment I've lived in, every job I've ever had, names, professions and contact information for everyone in my family and for seven references who had to be within ten years of my age. (Thank you Ellie, Ron, Maya, Cyndi, Rachel, Toni and Francesca for being willing to be interrogated about me.)  I also had to make copies of my social security card, driver's license, citizenship certificate, car insurance...order college transcripts etc. A lot of work.

   Step Three: Background Investigation The day arrived for the background investigation part. I showed up to the Personnel Building downtown in my business attire at 6:30 am, ready for what they said could be a four hour appointment. Once there, I got another questionnaire with 165 questions to answer while they went over my 26 page document. Intense. It was yes or no, but if you answered yes to something, you had to write a brief essay explaining the circumstances; Why? Where? When? I was honest. Deeply honest. Perhaps too honest?

    

Some of my mistakes...

   I let them know about my medical marjuana card even though it's expired and I haven't gotten high in a while. I told them about the couple of times I stole candy bars at the super market when I was 7 or 8. I told them about the VERY few times I had tried other drugs, even why, with who, and how they made me feel. I told them that I had my car listed as being parked in Ojai after not living there anymore, to keep the lower car insurance rate. I told them I gave a friend with severe back pain some vicodin I had been prescribed after a root canal. After I was finished I sat down with an investigator to go over my answers. He asked me specifically about each instance where I had said yes, to clarify exactly what had happened, and to make sure this was the only instance for this particular "transgression." And on to the next. Exhausting but I thought I did well. I was honest, respectful, and even remorseful where applicable. 

   I guess they didn't agree because in spite of my perceived success at the interview, I got a letter in the mail yesterday saying that the LAPD has concluded that I don't meet their standards and will not be able to participate in the Reserve Office Program. There are a few different areas listed as important in order to meet the standards, and the areas they didn't think I was up to snuff in were: Decision Making & Judgment as well as Maturity & Discipline. WHAT PLANET ARE THEY FROM? HAVE THEY NOT MET ME? Perhaps this is way too egotistical and self-obsessed of me to say, but who makes better decisions than I? And who is more mature and disciplined? So, a bit disappointed today. But what a great ride and what a great experience.

Farewell sweet dream...

   The parts that I didn't get to experience (but was really looking forward to) was the Physical Abilities Test where you have to do a certain amount of push-ups, sit-ups, pull-ups and also have to be able to drag a 165 pound weight for 32 feet (!) There was also the Polygraph test, the Department Interview, the Medical and Psychological Evaluation before you get to the Academy.

 Not my car...

   So today, I am a bit sad that I won't be riding along in that big black and white car and turn the siren on. And a bit disappointed that I won't be able to demand that everyone call me "Officer Cahn." But as far as the Glock is concerned, I know if I'm itching to shoot one I can always call Matt (of Number 17: Fire a Gun fame) and meet him at the gun range! 

Number 17: Fire a Gun

  Not long after I had posted my initial blog and list, I got a FB message from Matt Johnson offering to take me to a gun range for some shooting. He said he had guns and was a member at a range, and he was actually one of the first people to check in and offer to do something from the list. Since then, many friends, old and new, have checked in with either an urge to take on a task with me, or a willingness to contribute expertise in some area. So Matt's message was the beginning of the list becoming a community thing, and it was especially cool since I don't see Matt regularly. 

  I've run into Matt a few times in the last few years, in his bicycle garb in Venice or at Whole Foods with his beautiful daughters, but I think the last time we officially hung out was about 15 years ago. I had become friends with Matt and some of his crowd; all really cool, older, handsome guys at the beginning of their successful film careers... We were in my car with a mutual friend, got hit by a drunk driver outside Canter's on Fairfax and spent most of the night at Cedars. Not a great night. 

   Matt is a fellow screenwriter. And when I say "fellow" I don't know if it's that accurate since he's actually had his scripts turned into movies, and I haven't. Yet. 

   I realized how serious the whole gun thing is when we made plans to go and Matt emailed me a list of outfit requirements and rules to follow. I was to wear jeans or long pants and bring a long-sleeved shirt that covered my arms and these were the rules:

1. Never point the firearm at anything you do not wish to destroy.

2. Always treat every firearm like it's loaded.

3. Know your target and what's behind it.

4. Keep your finger off the trigger until the firearm is pointed at the target. 

   Don't get me wrong, I love rules and instructions because it means I get to be "a good girl" when I follow them exactly. And I think I did. We met at LAX Firing Range, Matt was there already when I arrived and the guy at the desk handed me a gun and said "Matt wants you to shoot with this." It was a Sig Sauer Mosquito which I grabbed before heading into the actual range part with my glasses and ear protection. 

    There he was, tall and handsome as usual, perhaps a bit more grey, shooting the coolest gun I've ever seen. It looked like something out of an old Western, big and loud. We caught up a bit, then a quick lesson in gun etiquette, which is not overrated and very important. At first when he repeated the same thing over and over, it annoyed me, but I kept on putting the gun down the wrong way and I could see how that would be a problem from a safety perspective. Like I could shoot myself accidentally. 

 

Sig Sauer Mosquito (.22 long rifle caliber)   

   I started shooting the Mosquito and really liked it, although it took some getting used to "the kick" which, for those of you who aren't in the gun world, is when your hand and arm jerks back uncontrollably from the power of the gun as it goes off. A couple of shots off the target, but then I found my stride and did pretty well if I may say so myself. And for the record, Matt said so too. Numerous times. 

Not bad, eh?

   When it was time to re-load, I asked Matt about this hobby of his, which for a Swedish girl seems radical and perhaps even a bit crazy. He told me about growing up in Missouri and shooting guns with his father and I actually felt respect and admiration for his relationship to guns. He told me that he sometimes shoots on a course with moving targets, using different guns and he was so excited talking about it, that I found myself interested and mesmerized by the idea. Basically, he's someone with an intense passion for shooting as a sport but with a healthy dose of respect for the capability of the guns. 

   And I get it. Like so many of the unusual things I've been doing from the list, this one gave me a "boner" of sorts. I got excited, adrenalin was pumping through my veins and I didn't want to stop. At the same time, there was a calm and peace that came over me. My mind was still and I could only hear my own breathing and the gun going off. I shot a few rounds and felt power and control with each well placed shot. Matt reminded me of the correct grip and helped me re-load, but soon I was doing it all on my own. And I loved it. I didn't want to put the gun down.  

     

Matt's guns: Glock 17, Glock 19 (both 9mm,) and Sig Sauer P226 (.40 caliber)

   After a while, the Mosquito was old news, and I was ready to move on to something else. Something more powerful. Matt's Glock 17, followed by his Glock 19, and then, finally, the fantastic Colt Python Revolver - a 357 magnum from the 70's, my decade, that Matt got from his Dad. I shot it and immediately felt a strange sensation. Matt said "did you feel that in your teeth?" and I laughed, realizing that what I was feeling was my teeth shattering. That's how powerful it was. 

   Next I shot the Sig Sauer P226 which really heavy and almost too powerful for me. Or perhaps it was that my hands had gotten tired from shooting rounds and rounds. 

Two things made in the 70's; me and the Colt   

   My favorite? The big, manly Colt of course. Even loading it is exciting, since you have to put each bullet in separately. And you have to cock it after each shot, which made me feel like I was in a Western. I shot a final round before it was time to go home. I closed my eyes for a second and imagined myself riding alongside the Duke through a dusty old town in the wild wild west, with tumbleweeds rolling across the dirt road. All of a sudden, the distant clinking on a piano stops, and someone bursts out of the saloon, guns drawn, and in a split second, I get my Colt out of the holster, aim and squeeze the trigger confidently. 

    That was soooo awesome! I can't thank you enough, Matt!