I once got thrown off a horse in Sweden, while riding with my friend Hilda, and peed my pants as a result. I can still remember the feeling of warmth as the pee went down my legs. Then a few seconds later, I was cold and wet. And at about 16, way too old to have peed my pants. I've ridden since, but not for many years, and not out and about in the actual wilderness. So I was delighted when my friend Ashley invited me to go horseback riding in Malibu.
Actually, Ashley did more than just invite me to go. She sent an official evite with the words "giddy-up, cowgirl, boots and spurs," and with a reminder to turn my clocks back the night before, so I would be ready on time. My options for responding were "giddy-up" (yes) "may be lassoed" (maybe) or "snake in my boots" (no.) She definitely wins the price for most creative Forty By Forty invite.
Ashley is young and fantastic. I met her years ago and thought she was so amazing that I recommended her for a job at the PR firm where I was working, incidentally taking on some of my responsibilities as my work load was beyond heavy. Having been an assistant for years, I found it hard to delegate and have someone take on "my" work...so I'm pretty sure I was a pain in the ass at first, thinking no one can do a job as great as I can. After the adjustment period though, days were happy and fun, and we both learned and grew a lot, and became very close.
Mr. and Mrs. Justin Killian
With the risk of sounding like someone's grandmother, I attended Ashley's wedding in the Palisades in September and cried my eyes out at what a complete, sophisticated, smart, independent and beautiful woman she has become. I also cried because she wore the most gorgeous dress, showing off her arms, which are incredibly toned and have been coveted by me for years. In fact, you can find them on my "steal" list. You know the one where you get to pick other people's body parts to "better" yourself? I've got Jessica Biel's ass on there, so she's in good company.
I was told to wear jeans and sneakers, which is hard for me. Where I come from, we value footwear and subsequently wear shoes instead of sneakers, unless we are working out. Ashley rolled her eyes and told me to pipe down when I bitched about it, so I did. We arrived happy and worn out from catching up, ready for an adventure in the Malibu Mountains.
Me and Herr Nilsson
After being introduced to our horses, we quickly decided to rename them because A. We couldn't remember their actual names, and B. We thought it would make it easier to connect with them. Ashley named her horse Louis - with a silent "s," and I named mine Herr Nilsson, after Pippi Longstocking's horse, because it had spots on it.
Pippi and the real Herr Nilsson
It wasn't until I got home and googled Herr Nilsson that I realized that's not the name of Pippi's horse at all. Herr Nilsson is the monkey. Lilla Gubben is the horse. No wonder he kept on bucking... being named after a monkey.
Ash and Louis
It was the most beautiful of fall days and the air was so crisp and fresh. The ride started and we climbed up in the mountains with a few girls from UCLA, who made me look like a professional equestrian. They sat slumped down and panicked when the horses started to trot, while Ashley and I maintained a solid posture and posted, which is when you rise out of the saddle for every other stride, looking über sophisticated. And British.
Herr Nilsson, or just Nilsson for short, had most likely had a Saturday night as indulgent as mine, as evident by his need to snack away at every bush or patch of grass we went by. He was also determined to not be the last horse, because whenever Ashley and Louis trotted by, Nilsson would get pissed and just take off, galloping ahead, to finally squeeze himself (and me) into a better position. I came to appreciate those moments as the most fun ones, where I just couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard I tried.
For the next hour or so, Ashley and I beamed and laughed and smiled and smirked and felt so connected to nature and each other, while cruising through the most beautiful mountains with spectacular views and the perfect amount of warmth from the sun. We loved everything; the heavens, the earth, the sunshine, and of course, Louis and Nilsson. Horseback riding is one of those things that just makes you happy. And we were.
Today, my ass is sore. And I miss Nilsson. We really had something special. I know I wasn't just another customer. We were like Zorro and Toronado, like Red and Seabiscuit, and yes, like Pippi and her crazy monkey Herr Nilsson. Thanks, Ash for a beautiful day - I really loved it.
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