Number 40: Celebrate my 40th Birthday with the Friends who Made it all Possible

    I decided that the best way to celebrate my birthday and the fulfillment of the most extraordinary and rewarding thing I've taken on - Forty By Forty - would be to spend it with the friends who made it all possible. It was a way to make it more about the project and my "partners in crime" and less about getting old.  So, invitations were sent out to those who participated in the Forty By Forty project, by either adding something to my list, or doing one of the tasks with me. 

    On the back of the invitations, I had circled the challenge(s) that particular friend helped with. This one was Cyndi's, one of my busier Forty By Forty friends.

    Fantastic friends Bob and Hil graciously offered their home as the place to party, but as their street was being dug up the week of the party, there was a concern about parking, and the party moved to Ronny's. It made total sense, since Ronny was my first cohort in the Forty By Forty, having joined me for Number 1: See Sir Paul McCartney in Concert. Diane contributed vodka, champagne, and a case of Hungarian "Marika" wine, Cyndi sponsored the wait staff, Ronny got decorations and much more...Linda and I had rolled meatballs all week, and I also made glögg, which is a Swedish mulled wine served with raisins and almonds. 

    I had the most extraordinary day with calls, texts, emails, cards & flowers, while running around with Andrew (Number 30: See Carmen at the Met) getting everything handled for the party. Setting up for the party with H & R (Andrew & Ronny,) was hilarious, and a worthwhile birthday experience in itself. But there was more before I could relax and celebrate; Andrew and I headed over to Jumbo's for Number 39: Perform at Jumbo's, while Ronny sacrificed himself and stayed behind to get the party started. 

     

     Saying the party was great would be an understatement. My oldest friends came early, which made me happy and relaxed...Cyndi & Temple, Scott & Maya, Di & Roger, Toni, etc. There was yummy food, good music, delicious drinks and cool people, so I suppose just like any other awesome party, except for the fact that people who didn't know each other, kept on recognizing each other from the blog. All night I heard things like "Oh, I read the blog about you, you went with Marika to...." Kind of cool. 

     
      Ronny was the best host in the world, he mixed drinks and read fortunes by the bar, making sure people were happy, had food and drinks, and felt at home. Andrew took photos until he got too intoxicated by various things, and I finally sobered up from Jumbo's, so that I could get drunk once again. 

     But not until after my special performance. Michelle and I had practiced a Beatles medley for the party and although I was quite nervous, I was excited to perform it. "Norweigan Wood," "She Said, She Said," "Love Me Do" and "With a Little Help from my Friends." All songs that make me unbelievably happy and beaming from ear to ear. So Michelle and I got up, I made a quick speech, and off we went.

    It was hard. First of all, it's hard to play guitar and sing at the same time, especially this early in my guitar learning. Second, it's hard playing guitar and singing in a tight Gucci leather dress. (And yes, I smushed for this one.) Third, playing guitar is intimate, and I felt quite vulnerable playing in front of people, even though it was friends...I had to look down at my guitar or the floor for the most part, or at Michelle, who always calms me down. 

     The other accomplishment about the guitar playing was that sweet Guy managed to stay on the couch for the whole thing...I'm sure he'll be upset that I'm outing him about this, but he's got a thing about people busting out their guitars at parties. Like a legitimate physical sensation complete with warmth/panic/anxiety/embarrassment. And it's real. Guy usually leaves the party when it gets to the warm and fuzzy guitar point. But not this time, which made me feel quite special, although he did look a bit clammy afterwords, as he complimented me on my performance.    

    

      The cake, made by my dear friend Cheryl from Baked it Myself, was beyond delicious. It was a more sophisticated, heavenly spin on my favorite Swedish-style berry cake, and was stuffed with the freshest and sweetest of berries with mascarpone to die for. Definite highlight.

     Another highlight of the evening included Cliff inventing a solution for the problem pole dancers have with picking up dollar bills at the end of their dance. (See Number 39: Perform at Jumbo's Clown Room) Named "Strip Vac," Cliff's invention is a vacuum hose that is attached to the pole so you just pull it out and suck up the cash. Which means Mr. Olin can check something off his Forty By Forty list, as one of his challenges reads; "Invent something. Like muscle beer."

 

       Eventually, we all ended up on the back patio with a fire burning and mellow music playing. We sat around and talked and laughed, snuggled up on the couches under warm blankets. At some point, Bianca asked me to dance and I politely accepted. Just the two of us, slow dancing for what seemed like an eternity. The gentlemen seemed quite mesmerized. As was I...it was the first time all day that I was just still, quiet and peaceful, snuggled up to Ms. Sia, and it was a lovely thing at the end of an eventful and exciting birthday. 

     As the party started to wrap up, I picked up my guitar again. I wanted to play something sweet and mellow to complete the evening. For those of you who aren't U2 fans, there is a song called "40" from their 1983 album "War," that they ended their concerts with in the eighties. They would sing it, then peel off the stage, first Bono, then Adam Clayton, then The Edge and finally Larry, while the song was still going. The audience would keep singing the chorus for minutes, but the band never came back on stage. It's how you knew it was over. Simple and beautiful, the lyrics are a modification of Psalm 40 from the Bible. 

    So at the end of an amazing night, it seemed fitting that I should play myself out with "40." There were just a few people left at the party when I started strumming. With "40," I played myself out of the most magnificent year of my life, out of a beautiful birthday, out of a fantastic celebration with people I love, and out of that tiny bit of melancholy that you feel when something epic has ended.

       Leading up to my birthday, a lot of people said "life begins at forty" as a way to make me feel alright about turning the big 4-0. The truth is, I feel more than alright about turning 40. I found myself expanding and growing in ways I didn't think were possible this year; physically, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually...and I don't just like who I am today. I love who I am today. 

      I've managed to sufficiently shake up who I am, and laid to rest who I've known myself to be for the first 39 years of my life, so in a way, my life up until this point is complete. Not over, but complete. I've done many extraordinary things, this year and before. I've also managed to get through some difficult times, with as much grace and ease as I've been able to muster up. I recently read something that I found true and appropriate for me and my journey. "Life Begins at the End of Your Comfort Zone." It certainly did for me. Forty times. 

     My heart is full of love and appreciation for the amazing friends who shared the Forty By Forty adventure with me, by adding things to the list or by participating in one or more of the adventures. I'm a different human being today because of you. My life will never be the same and you will always have a part in that. 

       Thank you Andrea Anders, Ashley Aurell-Killian, Andrew Barrett, Brian Studler, Calvin Remsberg, Cliff Olin, Christi Christensen, Cyndi Finkle, Debbie Steingesser, Dana Schwartz, Diane Merrick, Dory Benami, Elena Zaretsky, Ellie Schwimmer, Elise Blecher, Guy Burnet, Hailey Pahoa, Heather Tyson, Ingrid Lundin, James Webber, Jason Frahm, Javier Gonzalez-Rubio, Jen Kotowski, John Kazlauskas, Judy Downes, Julian Stern, Justin Fortune, Karen Forman, Kathy Hodgkiss, Keri Safran, Keri & Hermas Lassalle, Laura Tremaine, Lily Liliana, Linda Santiago, Lorne Hiltser, Luke McFarlane, Matt Johnson, Matthew Heller, Matthew Rhys, Mark Lucaj, Maya Einziger, Michael Hundgen, Michelle Payne, Mosie Hackett, Mysti Friedman, Nate Crocker, Rachel Calvert, Radha Mitchell, Robert Scott Wildes, Ron Safran, Pia Bellander, Sara Sugarman, Todd Stolarski, Toni Pickett, Ulf Cahn, Valentin Vignet, Wei-ning Yu, West McDowell & Zoe Wittock.

 

Comments

[hollywood housewife]

This project was SO RAD. I loved following your progress through the blog and I can hear in your writing the peace and joy you feel.

(so sorry I missed the party - I was thinking of you and haven't missed a single post here!)

[Michelle Payne]

It was such a wonderful experience to share with you. You did an amazing job learning to play the guitar, and I had such a great time continuously finding inspiration in your adventures!

[Meghan]

So inspiring and fun to read, Marika! I'm sorry I missed it. You really have me thinking/feeling about the coming new year and ways I can expand my comfort zone. Thank you for that. One thing I know is on my list is to see more of you. Happy New Decade darling!