It was fate. Jumbo's Clown Room opened in 1970, the year I was born, but it wasn't until 1982, the year of my Bat Mitzvah, that they started having exotic dancing there. Very appropriate considering that's when I became a woman in Judaism. At 12.
For those of you who aren't familiar with Jumbo's Clown Room, it's a great, fun place to go for a drink. Some say it's the place where old strippers go to die, but I found that to be a grave error as some of the girls are ridiculously hot, and beyond talented in the ways of the pole.
They don't have amateur night at Jumbo's anymore, so getting to do this required a couple of nights of recognizance. First up, Hailey Pahoa, a few beers and lots of giggles. Hailey and I are having a bromance of sorts...we ask each other out every so often, compliment each other, treat each other to dinner, then text the next day with thank you's for a lovely night. Unfortunately neither of us have strong lesbian tendencies or we'd be set for life.
The Los Feliz Fire Station...where I crashed and burned for Hailey
Upon hearing that Hailey's dream is to settle down with a fire fighter, I did the next best thing to joining the force myself...I asked one of them out, while voting at the fire station in November, (as karma would have it, Hailey's polling place was a church.) I suggested that perhaps he could bring a fire fighter friend, and come out with my cute friend Hailey and I. But alas, fire fighter Webb was married. Booo.
For the second visit, Heather came with me. Heather, who joined me for Number 5: Take an Art Class, is one of my favorite Tuesday morning girls. The Tuesday morning girls are some of the sexiest and most beautiful women I know. We take pole dancing classes with the lovely and talented Sheila Kelley, and her hot cohort Janelle, at Sheila's dance studio, S Factor.
At Jumbo's, Heather and I had screw-top mini-bottles of wine, threw dollar bills at the talented girls, and talked to Leanne, a bartender who has worked at Jumbo's for 13 years, and who used to dance there herself. She's beautiful, sweet and fun, and after hearing about the Forty By Forty, determined to help me.
So it was decided that on my actual birthday, December 10th, I would go up on stage and dance at Jumbo's Clown Room. Leanne told me to look through the jukebox and pick a song before leaving that night, so I knew what I would be dancing to. There wasn't a huge selection, so I settled on "Darling Nikki" by Prince. And that was that.
Getting ready for my big debut...
I walked in on December 10th a bit before 6pm, having had about five minutes to get dressed and ready. It had been a crazy week of party preparation, finishing up my last tasks and blogging about them, so I hadn't put too much effort into what I would do once I got up on stage, but I felt confident I would do alright.
When I got there, my confidence and strong mental attitude weened. I realized that although I've been taking classes for years, I've never actually danced for anyone but the girls in class, because it's kind of personal and intimate, and you show a side of yourself that's...well, different. Only my Tuesday morning girls see the raunchy me. And Mr. "Do Something Kinky and X-rated" from time to time.
Leading up to the big night, there had been some emails and text messages sent...inviting some girlfriends and a few gentlemen friends that I thought would provide the right sort of support; men who are either gay or British (= polite and asexual.) Unfortunately, or rather fortunately, the time slot I had been given prevented some from attending, something I received a few scathing messages about, so it was a smaller group of hard core supporters Andrew, Lorne, Zoe and Heather that planted themselves right up front for my debut.
Raunchy apparel by Agent Provocateur
"Darling Nikki" started and after downing a shot of Jägermeister, I went up on stage through the side door. I was immediately intimidated by everyone staring at me, so I walked over to the mirror, listened to the music, and started to move slowly. The moving slowly part was necessary, as I hadn't worn my stripper heels in a while and was terrified I would fall on my ass, or worse, my face. But to my surprise I managed to walk and dance pretty well in those extra 6 inches.
Now, for the record, I know a lot of pole tricks; I can climb, flip upside down, do a snake dive, body spirals, and a lot of different spins, but it seemed I should probably stick to the basics for my first official performance. I did a few tricks, one which lands in a split, and then some crawling, pole grinding, cat pouncing, and before I knew it, the song was almost over. As much as I've not enjoyed having long hair, it was great for this task, as I could hide behind it, making it less intimating to dance in front of friends and strangers in a bra, sequined mini-shorts, fishnets and stripper boots.
As fun and empowering as an experience like this can be, and was, there is a very strange and sort of demeaning part to it. When your song is over, you have to crawl around on the floor and pick up crumpled up dollar bills. I've watched the girls do it, and I always feel like someone should work out a more graceful and respectful way to collect the tips.
I thought about just leaving them there for the next girl, but that's disrespectful...like I'm too good for one dollar bills or something. So basically, I crawled around on the floor and picked them up. And when I walked out, I heard someone (I think Lorne or Andrew) yell, "you missed one," so I had to go back and drop down again. For a dollar.
Coming down the steps, I thanked a couple of girls waiting to go up, and got a bit of attitude in return. As I settled into a chair for a quick drink and breather, with adrenaline and Jägermeister pumping through my body, it seemed there was some irritation and upset brewing among some of the girls. I promptly got up and went over to the bar where I dropped my dollar bills, telling Leanne to please distribute them among the girls.
That helped a bit; a couple of girls came up and said thank you, and wished me a happy birthday, which was totally sweet. I sat down and appreciated the next dancer so much more than I ever have before, understanding better what it takes to get up there. Balls. Then I turned around and found that one of the girls seated behind us still seemed upset, so I took my drink and asked if I could join her at her table to make nice. She explained that in the last 13 years of her working there, no one who doesn't work there has been allowed to go up, and she felt that my doing so was belittling her choice of profession.
I took a breath, then proceeded to tell her about the Forty By Forty project, listing a few of the more outrageous things I've done, explaining how they've inspired me and enhanced my life. I told her that I'd taken pole dancing classes, but that it doesn't mean I think I can do what she does every night. I also told her that I in no way was making fun of her chosen profession, on the contrary, I totally respect it.
She lightened up a bit, but suspiciously asked why I had decided to do it at Jumbo's, wondering if it was some joke to me. I told her that it was because Jumbo's and I are the same age, and she finally smiled and wished me a happy birthday. I realized it probably would have been a good idea to explain all of this to a few of the girls beforehand, so as to not have my intentions be misunderstood, but this was something I hadn't expected or even imagined would happen.
After watching one more girl perform and throwing appreciation her way, we all headed out to begin my birthday celebration. It was about 6:30pm and I was pretty drunk, but also high and elated from having completed my 39th task, which was definitely outside my comfort zone.
Thank you Hailey and Heather for the prep, Agent May for help with the gear, my dollar throwing friends for doing just that, and most importantly, thanks to Leanne and the girls at Jumbo's for being gracious and letting me play on their playground.
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