My First...

My First Kiss

    Here it is. The momentous occasion itself. Don't ask me how or why I have a photo of this because that I don't remember. The boy's name is Robert Heyman and he used to wear suspenders with corduroy pants and colorful t-shirts underneath. Curly hair which was always a bit messy. 

    Taken at Glamsta Jewish Summercamp an hour outside of Stockholm in 1977 or 1978, the photo was glued into a diary that I can't seem to find, that told the whole story of the kiss. It was something like Danny Olinius had asked "chance on me," which at that time was like asking you to "go with," or be someone's girlfriend. I had said no because I was holding out for someone else, but that didn't work out and in the end, when most people were "paired up," Robert asked me and I said yes.

Haunted/mesmerized/imspired by our kiss, Robert developed an interest in dentistry...

    I know that sounds like I was left with no choice and that it was Robert Heyman or the life of a spinster, but it wasn't like that at all. He didn't go to school with me, which made him exotic and exciting. And he was super cute, animated and funny with big brown eyes and a sweet smile. And our brief moment together might have been what caused him to decide to become a dentist. So I could very well have been an important catalyst in his life. As for me, this was the start of a life-long obsession with finding the perfect lips to kiss. 

    I'm not sure why he is looking up and away. At first I thought it meant perhaps he wasn't interested in my sweet seven-year-old lips, but then it was suggested to me that it could be intimidation, and a desire to rise to this very special occasion. I'm gonna go with that interpretation. 

    Not long after the photo was taken, we "banged," which interestingly enough is what a breakup was called back then. I can't remember if it was Robert or I, but things had become stale and cold between us, so we really needed that "bang." After all, this was an era when life was simple and things moved quickly. If you liked someone, you asked them and if they said no, you asked the person you liked second best. And when it was over, it was over, and you moved on swiftly and enthusiastically to your next adventure. 

    What was refreshing about the era of "Chances & Bangs" was that there weren't any four-hour sessions with the girls pondering the possibility of him saying no before asking. There was no fear or hesitation,  manipulation or scheming, unless you counted giving him candy a slight nudge in your "favor." Probably because at this age, none of us had gone through a heartbreak, but still. A more honest and courageous way to live.

    So I say, let's bring the "Chances & Bangs" era back. If you like someone, give them some candy and ask for a "chance" on them.  I mean, even ABBA sang about it. If they say no, don't let your friends convince you it's because they are threatened by your beauty, or afraid of how perfect you could be together. Your friends are just saying that to be nice. Just go to the next person on your list.

    Also, don't forget, even if you get a "yes," they might eventually "bang" you...

My First...

    In the aftermath of the Forty By Forty project and blog, I have gotten many requests for MORE BLOGGING. It seems the musings and ramblings of a year's worth of adventures leading up to my fortieth birthday have been missed. To be honest, I myself have missed pouring my heart out about the various challenges, embarrassing moments, euphoria, and sense of accomplishment that became "every day" stuff for me last year. 

    I asked for suggestions for what my new blog could be about and got some great ideas. Anayat contributed "Biggest Regrets Revisited," and it was the front runner for a while, but when it came down to making that list, it turns out I have something in common with Edith Piaf, other than that crazy vibrato I do only when I have tonsillitis. I don't regret a whole lot. 

    Then there was the "Drugs I've Taken" idea, but I counted and it wouldn't be more than 5 posts. I don't like to kiss and tell so "Boyfriends Through The Years" was nixed right away. Also, because I know some men would hate to be blogged about, even if I gave them fake names.

    I decided on "Firsts," a suggestion from Mary Smith, a fellow blogger. She threw it out there casually, one day. I listened and the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea because it could be so many different things, things from yesterday or from twenty, thirty or even forty years ago. It could be sweet things, uncomfortable things, sad things, happy things. 

    So, without further ado, it is with great pleasure I am announcing my new blog: My First...

    "My First What?" you may ask. Exactly. Like in the Forty By Forty, I am taking suggestions. Last week at dinner, I started the list with John Kazlauskas and Michael Hundgen; good friends, Forty By Forty participants and fellow bloggers. I plan to add to it, and the way I'm challenging myself with this one is, I promise to blog about every single item on the list.

    With Forty By Forty, there was always a choice; I knew I wouldn't have to do them all because there were so many. But in this blog, if you suggest it, and I have done it, I will blog about it in the next year. I might even take on doing some new firsts if the suggestion is interesting enough and if it seems like it's something most people have done. Email me with your ideas for firsts and I will include them. And try to keep it clean, people.    

    Thank you to Mary for the idea, to John & Hundgen for getting the list started...and to Amber, Cliff, Diane, Dory, Heather, James, Karen, Karin, Radha, Ronny and Zoe for adding to it...

1. My First Kiss
2. My First Time Being Caught in a Lie
3. My First Celebrity Crush
4. My First Husband
5. My First Car
6. My First Day of School
7. My First Tattoo
8. My First Pet
9. My First Best Friend
10. My First Groundlings Performance
11. My First Pair of Shoes
12. My First Concert
13. My First Flode Is
14. My First American Boyfriend
15. My First Diary
16. My First Photo Shoot
17. My First Wedding
18. My First Kiss...with a Girl
19. My First Favorite Thing
20. My First Cigarette
21. My First Lillebror
22. My First Date
23. My First Time
24. My First Hangover
25. My First Time Being Bullied
26. My First Heartbreak
27. My First Fight
28. My First Funeral
29. My First Wave
30. My First Time Getting Published
31. My First Love
32. My First Camping Trip
33. My First Ride on the LA Metro
34. My First Time Voting
35. My First Wet Wednesday
36. My First Knit Item
37. My First Month as a Scorpio
38. My First Record
39. My First Gay Kiss?
40. My First Job
41. My First Role Model
42. My First Trip to America
43. My First R Rated Movie
44. My First Roadtrip
45. My First Mixed Tape